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Coping with Bad News: How to Build Emotional Resilience

Bad news has a way of undermining our emotional well-being and sometimes leads to deep sadness or depression. Some clients come for therapy and/or life coaching because they have had a devastating personal or relational problem, a loss, or a newly diagnosed medical problem that affects them or a loved one. Bad news can trigger intense emotions—sadness, fear, anger, and numbness.

Cognitive Tools

We have worked with clients trying to cope with news they were completely unprepared for. Your emotional reaction to bad news starts with how you think. The cognitive model explains that thinking leads to emotions, and emotions drive behaviors. Sometimes, you can’t control what happens in your life, but you can influence how you react. We need to use cognitive tools to cope effectively with bad news. If we neglect our attitude and perspective on what is happening, our mental health can suffer.

Your Emotions

The first step in coping with bad news is to pause and acknowledge your emotions. You may push down your initial reaction to stay “strong.” However, allowing yourself to feel your feelings is important. There are eight basic emotions: pain, fear, anger, guilt, and shame, which are considered the negatives (but can sometimes be positive, for example, shame and guilt can help us to grow), while joy, passion, and love are the positives. You may be sad, scared, or even confused. These are the “normal” human responses to bad news. To heal, you must sit with your feelings, without judgment. This will allow you to begin processing your emotions in a healthy way.

Turn to Supportive People

Make sure you seek support from those you trust. Turn to your spouse, a family member, a friend, or a professional therapist. Sharing your experience will allow you to process your emotions. Turning to others helps you stay grounded. Just being heard by someone else can be helpful. Having someone there can bring clarity and relief. If you’re not ready to talk, write down your thoughts - do some personal journaling to help you through.

Finding Control

you may find focusing on those things you can control to be useful. When you get bad news, you can feel helpless. This can lead to depression and anxiety. Fight it off by identifying what you can do. Do you have all of the evidence? Start gathering more information and creating a plan. You must remember basic self-care. Eat and do your best to get enough sleep and Restart familiar daily routines. This will help you feel more in control.

Don’t Catastrophize

As thoughts lead to emotions, and emotions drive behavior, pay attention to your self-talk. What are you thinking about? Be careful not to catastrophize. Be mindful of your inner thoughts and challenge the negative ones. Don’t be too hard on yourself or judge yourself harshly. Practicing self-compassion and challenging unhelpful thoughts can help protect you. Ask yourself: “Would I say this to a friend?” If the answer is no, consider a kinder, more balanced perspective. Be mindful; meditation can help you stop ruminating.

Give yourself time to process the news. Do what you can to address the problems, and ask others for help when needed. Some days will be harder than others—good days show that you have coping skills. Being emotionally resilient doesn’t mean bouncing back immediately. Perhaps unbelievable at the time, but bad news can lead to personal growth, greater empathy towards yourself and others, and inner strength.

Bad news will always be part of life, but with the right tools and support, you can be courageous and meet challenges gracefully. Take time to heal, get the help you need, and recognize that coping with bad news is a skill to be learned.